Boil the Breakfast Early

I want to talk to you about boiled potatoes.

My grandfather was a fan. On the side, next to a piece of meat, with ketchup. My mom made them rarely for us. If she was gonna go to the trouble of peeling the potatoes (or having us peel them, we were willing, for some reason) she would either french fry them or mash them. I would have to request that I get some pre-mashed, if I was in the mood, and was looked upon disapprovingly.

But here's the thing, my grandfather was wrong.

The hell with ketchup. Slather them with butter or margarine, and lay down some fresh ground pepper. Damn.

And by lay down, you can 'sprinkle' or you can carpet bomb. It's up to you.

Now let's talk about some things. First off, boiling potatoes. Some of you may be insulted by too much detail here, but I knew two women, working together, who destroyed Kraft mac and cheese because they didn't realize they were supposed to drain the pasta before they added the butter, milk and cheese.

They were not bad people, they were raised wrong. They learned, and now they are productive members of society. There is Hope.

Two things you should have in your kitchen are a potato peeler and a pepper mill. Now my grandmother (other side) could peel a potato with a knife. She was old school. We shall not see her like again. The pepper mill...man, I thought that McCormick ground pepper in the little tin was fine, shuffle it into a pepper shaker, all good. I was wrong! This is America. We don't have to live like animals here. You don't need as much pepper, for one. And it's just better. No, really. No.....really. It honestly is a small, small investment that makes your life so much better.

Salt grinders, from what I hear, crap.

Anyway, the potatoes. Peel 'em. Wash 'em. Throw some water and a dash of salt in a saucepan and get it on the path to boiling.

Now how much of all this? Here's the thing, this is a fine food to heat up later as a snack, so go a little over and work down. But say, one medium sized potato per person as a side. Two as a 'meal'.

Water wise, you're not using that little pot you have, that you make ramen in. Use that next size up. Fill it half way for one or two potatoes. More than that, use the big pot and congratulations on having friends. (If it's just you, you can use the little pot, but it's really more advanced. Boiling over is fine, but boiling off the water is no good.)

Cut the potatoes into cubes, not chunks. A chunk is the width of your pinky. A cube is bigger than your pinky, and should be about a pinky and a ring finger all around. Since the potato is not square (please ignore this if you are in Japan, so I hear) some will be smaller. It's OK.

Once they're cut, drop them in the water and let them go. If the water isn't boiling before you drop them in, who cares? If you cut them before you even drop them in the water and only add heat after water, salt and potatoes are mixed, fine.

Balance the heat so they don't boil over all the time. Stirring them helps too. But you can walk away for a bit. You really don't have to watch.

The potatoes are done when the edges look fluffy and you can push a fork through with little resistance.

DRAIN THEM. Pour them into a colander, pick them out with a slotted spoon, your choice.

Butter and pepper.

Point is, boiled potatoes are stupid easy. But so damn good. Yeah, I still like them with ketchup now and again. But they're a side. Don't get worked up.

So much. So much you can do with the lowly potato. I could write a whole blog. But won't. I am gonna try other toppings on the boiled potato. Garlic powder, dill. Maybe rosemary. I'll report back.